Love Needs Work

Many of us think of ourselves as being emotionally complex, intellectual individuals. But when two lovers are drawn together, animal instinct usually deserves the credit. Love can be like getting rocketed into space. The trick is staying up there.

In the beginning, we often describe our feelings in physical terms: "He's drop-dead gorgeous." "She smells like candy." "His kiss is sweet like honey." "Her skin is so soft." Your heart races, palms get sweaty, and a swarm of butterflies flutter in your stomach.

After initial physical attraction comes an emotional connection. Now you are in la-la land. You enjoy the breeze all around you. Romance is in the air. Can you smell the flowers?

This is when you may actually make it a point to look good, try different things, and go to new places. Life is an adventure, and you feel stronger than ever. Now passion and intimacy have taken over. You are not only extremely attracted to one another, but you feel a deep connection. You begin to open up, sharing your values, feelings and dreams with each other. You are floating. Life seems to be in order.

Your lover has become a big part of your life, and you stop wanting to see other people. You are head over heels, ready to pledge devoted love. The two of you enter a committed relationship.

Just because you see each other every day doesn't mean you have to stop trying to make a good impression. Sadly, couples too often cease making much of an effort with each other. They stop taking time to talk and listen. They stop taking care of their physical appearances. They begin to take each other for granted. Intimacy dwindles and arguments constantly ignite. These are the consequences of familiarity and boredom taking the place of excitement.

Love takes work. It needs constant attention. Both of you need to be reassured, made to feel confident in the partnership. Don't let monotony and routine take command of the romantic life. Here are a few things you can do to keep your relationship strong.

1. Make time for each other: Go out on dates. Schedule one evening out per week, just the two of you. This is what couples do. It will be time well spent.
2. Take care of yourself: Exercise, eat right and look sexy for your partner. Paying attention to your appearance shows you care. You also need to stay healthy and get regular check-ups. Physical ailments can lead to emotional problems, which affect the relationship.
3. Be respectful: Be considerate of one another. Don't take the other person for granted. Help each other out around the house. Listen when your partner is feeling tense and stressful. Make an effort to understand your partner's point of view and appreciate your partner's opinions. Warning: This only works if both of you do it.
4. Compliments go a long way: Just because you've told them before doesn't mean they don't want to hear it again. Show them a little love by telling them how amazing they are to you. "You look beautiful." "Hey, stud."
5. Sexy surprise: Be spontaneous. Try something new. Leave your significant other little notes: Tell them you can't wait to see them later that NIGHT. Get them gifts. Keep them on their toes.