Dumb State Laws In Florida


  • Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
  • A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
  • If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
  • It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
  • Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
  • Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
  • It is illegal to skateboard without a license.
  • When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.
  • You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays.
  • It is considered an offense to shower naked.
  • You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.
  • Oral sex is illegal.
  • You may not kiss your wife's breasts.
  • Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.
  • One may not commit any "unnatural acts" with another person.
  • Unmarried couples may not commit "lewd acts" and live together in the same residence.
  • Corrupting the public morals is defined as a nuisance, and is declared a misdemeanor offense.
  • Doors of all public buildings must open outwards.
  • It is illegal to sell your children.
  • The state constitution allows for freedom of speech, a trial by jury, and pregnant pigs to not be confined in cages.
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