You're Angry
Relationship problems are often the uninvited third person in your marriage. Some disputes between partners are disguised as sexual problems. It's easier to say, 'I'm not interested' or 'I have a headache,' when the truth is, 'I'm mad at you.'  Don't try to deal with the anger by shutting down sexually. If you do, you'll both end up suffering.

Use words
Let your partner know that you want to talk about something important. If he doesn't have advance warning, he may feel blindsided. You can say, 'There's something going on. I want to talk about it and get your thoughts. What's a good time?'  Pick a time when you won't be interrupted, i.e., when the kids are asleep.

Listen
Pay attention to what your partner is saying; don't use the time while he's talking to think up a snappy rebuttal. Remember, you're trying to reach consensus, not win. And don't expect an immediate resolution. What's important is to stay in touch, so no one feels isolated. You need an ongoing dialogue.

You're Bored
Relationships can settle into patterns that don't support a healthy sex life. For example, couples can become more like friends than lovers and can lose that sexual spark. A routine repertoire of lovemaking techniques can make you feel ho-hum about sex. Here's how to spice it up:

Resurrect great memories
Make time every day to fantasize about having great sex with your partner. When you imagine enjoying sex, it helps you get your body aroused.

Try some risky business
Do something you thought you'd never do. Find a new position—or a new location — that thrills you both.

Slow it down
Has sex gotten a little perfunctory? Quick sex offers next to no pleasure most of the time. It's like eating ice cream: If you gobble it down, your experience will be much less pleasurable than if you savor every bite. Slow it down until it takes three times longer than it usually takes.

Initiate sex talk
Often couples have different ideas of what sex is for: One feels that it's for romance and bonding; the other feels that's much too serious, and it's just about having an orgasm. Talk about your feelings in a neutral place (not your bed) with the idea that you're working on a project (your sex life) as colleagues, not negotiating a settlement like two sides in a labor dispute. Remember, Sex is a lot like dancing. There's the same type of cooperating, making mistakes, and correction and praise back and forth before you get it right.

You're in Pain
Roughly 86% of women have some sexual dysfunction in the first year after they have a child. Fatigue and the delirious love you feel for your new baby play a role in sidetracking your sex life, but much of it is hormonal. Nursing can affect your libido and your ability to be aroused, and it can even make sex painful.

Breastfeeding lowers your body's production of the three chemicals you need for a healthy sex life—the hormones estrogen and testosterone and the brain chemical dopamine—as it turns all the body's attention, via the hormone prolactin, to milk production. You lose your desire for sex, and your body isn't able to prepare for it even if you do get the urge. Without enough estrogen, your vaginal walls thin out and don't produce the lubrication you need for intercourse, so sex can hurt. (A similar problem occurs during menopause.)

Nursing isn't the only thing that can wreak havoc with your hormones. Taking the birth control pill, going through menopause, or having your ovaries removed can disrupt the delicate balance—sometimes dramatically.

Testosterone levels also start declining naturally in women in their late 20s and are significantly decreased by the time a woman is in her 40s. The drop-off of testosterone lowers libido while the lack of estrogen further exacerbates the problem by reducing lubrication and thinning vaginal walls, making sex painful.

Having your ovaries removed, sends you into abrupt menopause because the ovaries are your body's most prolific producer of estrogen. Testosterone also plummets after the removal of ovaries..

Some serious medical conditions—endometriosis, ovarian cancer, interstitial cystitis (inflammation of the bladder)—can also cause pain during sex and at other times. By some estimates, as many as 16% of women may have an ailment called vulvar vestibulitis, or vulvodynia, characterized by chronic pain and inflammation at the opening of the vagina. Some women may also have pelvic floor dysfunction, a syndrome that can include painful muscle spasms, often precipitated by childbirth, scoliosis, or lower-back problems that lead to misalignment of the pelvis. Here are your options:

Lubricate, lubricate, lubricate
Use lubricants that coat the vagina and are designed to be used just during sex, such as Astroglide and K-Y Warming Liquid. Longer-lasting products such as Replens and K-Y Silk-e Vaginal Moisturizer also relieve other symptoms of vaginal dryness, such as itching and irritation. These over-the-counter products are a good second best to your own natural juices to help prevent painful sex.

Exercise - The Bridge
Lie on your back with your knees bent and your feet flat on the floor, hip-width apart. Rest your arms at your sides, palms down. Take a deep breath. Exhale as you contract your abs and slowly curl your hips off the floor, using your buttocks and lower back (not your arms) to lift your torso. Support your upper body on your shoulder blades (not your neck), and use your hands only for balance. Hold for 10 to 15 seconds, relax, and repeat once.

Cream
While you're nursing, you may even be able to use a doctor- prescribed vaginal estrogen cream such as Estrace or Premarin; the 3-month vaginal ring, Estring; or the suppository, Vagifem. Very little of the estrogen they contain is absorbed into your body, so it won't pass on to your nursing baby, but it will help thicken your vaginal lining and promote lubrication.

Switch to another contraceptive
If you want to stay on the Pill, try Yasmin; one study found that it didn't dampen libido. Or look for Pills that contain the progestins levonorgestrel or norgestrel, derived from testosterone, which may also have less impact on your sex life. Otherwise, the copper-containing intrauterine device or a new IUD called Mirena are just as effective as the Pill and don't interfere with libido.

Ask about testosterone
Most doctors currently use compounding pharmacies to mix testosterone creams in dosages for women. But a testosterone patch for women is now through clinical testing and could be on the market soon. In a recent trial of the patch in women who had their ovaries removed, researchers reported that the women experienced a 56% increase in sex drive and a 74% increase in satisfaction.

Visit a specialist
See your OB/GYN about your pain, and discuss estrogen options.

Don't touch that yeast-infection drug
Unless you've had recurrent yeast infections—diagnosed by your doctor—don't treat every ache, pain, or itch down there with those handy over-the-counter yeast treatments. Women have limited ability to self-diagnose vaginal infections and only 30% had a yeast infection. Using the drugs in the absence of an infection can backfire because they can cause painful irritation.