For Men: How To Deal With Your Jealousy

So, you've found yourself a great lady. In fact, she's better than great. She's perfect. She's so perfect, in fact, that you find yourself a fierce shade of green over every move she makes, no matter how benign.

You, who couldn't tolerate a girlfriend who went ballistic every time you glanced at another woman, are doing just that. And if you think your jealousy will keep her loyal, get real; jealousy tears relationships apart, as it will soon do to yours.

Although you're the one who's overreacting, her actions play a part in your reactions. Any of these techniques could backfire if employed without due care and prudence.

First, you have to get to the root of your feelings. The way you react to things has been wired into your brain over time, as your collective experiences shaped your character. Let's break them down and see which one resembles you:

-Past experience: Your last girl cheated on you, and you've been on high guard ever since.
-Projection: You're a player yourself, dawdling among the womenfolk, so you assume that she's going behind your back as well.
-You drink or take drugs. Yeah, toxic substances have that grating little side effect of making you a paranoid freak.
-You're not used to a social woman: A woman who's always around friends, both male and female, is a foreign concept, therefore, untrustworthy.
-You're insecure. Let's face it; you don't think you're good enough for her, so you go crazy with the thought of losing her.
-You're a pessimist. You think that all good things must come to an end, and this one surely will. That is, unless you make an ass of yourself trying to prolong it with excessive protection.
-She told you about her past. So she's an experienced one and her old flames are still in town. The thought of her sleeping with ex-boyfriends drives you nuts.
-She always wants to have sex with you. Here's one you didn't expect, but her uncanny sexual appetite gets you jealous. You fear that if you're not around, she'll want to have sex with another guy.

There's nothing like a mirror to make you see how silly you look. If you're the controlling type who calls her every hour to inquire about where she is, have her do the same to you. After a few days of incessant and irritating check-up calls, you'll realize that it's annoying and irrational. You'll see that not being in the same room 24/7 really isn't that big a deal.

Sincerely and candidly talk to the people who know her best. In a friendly way, ask them to talk about your girl, and let them reassure you what a good woman you have.

Also, try hanging out with her friends to know more about that part of her world (i.e., the world without you). Maybe you'll see that, hey, they're not all two-timing tarts like you once thought.

If you think that each second away from you is a man-tasting party, go out with her and see how harmless her nights out really are. You should meet all her friends, especially her guy friends. The cold hard facts will keep your imagination from scuttling away.

When it comes to dealing with jealousy, you might even want to do the unthinkable and -- it's a long shot, but -- talk to her about it. Articulate how you've been feeling and she'll do her best to reassure you that there's nothing to worry about. If you must, get details on her time away. So if she tells you she's working late, for example, ask with whom and how long she'll be.

As the old saying goes, if you can't beat 'em, find some way to make yourself look good anyhow. So, instead of tripping out and setting off fights every time a man glances at her, take it as a compliment. Keep in mind that she's sleeping in your bed and no one else's. Take this time to review you're good qualities in lieu of comparing yourself to other men.

Remember how hard it was to hit on girls and get rejected all the time? Remember how much it sucked finding out your target lady had a man? Well, keep in mind that when guys hit on your girl, they're dealing with that rejection too -- maybe several times a day. Poor bastards. The struggle of others is a fine way to deal with jealousy, if that's what it takes.

If you're getting desperate, then perhaps some devious and dishonest tactics might assuage your dread. Try sending a good-looking friend of yours to hit on her (one she doesn't know, of course). Your imagination, which often features her sleeping with every man that talks to her, might just vanish once she rejects him cold.

Slipping further down the earnestness and seriousness scale of ways to deal with jealousy, we have professional services at your disposal. Have a private investigator follow her around for a day and log her activities. Once you realize that all she does is work and come home, you'll have no reason to be paranoid.

If all else fails, the final way to deal with jealousy is to seek professional help for your irrational feelings and thoughts. If you can't settle this issue yourself, then don't hesitate to ask for assistance.

In the meantime, if you don't think you measure up to your male competitors, take the time to do a little self-improvement: work out, learn new things and get a new look.

A word of warning: if a woman really wants to cheat, she will. No chastity schemes will keep her from it, so you might as will live your life and let the chips fall where they may.