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Your head's been filled with
filthy fibs since you were in Huggies. Time to crack it
open for a scalding scrub of truth.
Your mother was good at many
things—bandaging wounds, making apple pie, most of the
Kama Sutra—but telling you the truth wasn’t one of ’em.
Since the day you were born, your friends, teachers, and
even parents have been passing along an endless stream
of half-truths and outright freaking lies. (Remember the
Easter Bunny?) Prepare to be rewired, truth-seekers.
We’re cranking up the bullshit meter and going in!
You can survive
a bear attack by playing dead.
Drinking coffee
sobers you up.
Cell phones
make gas pumps go boom.
Living under
power lines will give you cancer.
Big shoes equal
big schlong
Men reach their
sexual peak 15 to 20 years before women do.
Dogs only see
in black and white.
Baseball was
invented in America.
Going out in
the cold causes colds.
Smoking
marijuana will make you sterile.
You should
brush your teeth after every meal.
You can catch
VD from a toilet seat.
Committing
suicide is against the law.
Christopher
Columbus discovered America.
Crazy behavior
spikes during a full moon.
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