Love Needs Work

Many of us think of ourselves as being emotionally complex, intellectual individuals. But when two lovers are drawn together, animal instinct usually deserves the credit. Love can be like getting rocketed into space. The trick is staying up there.

In the beginning, we often describe our feelings in physical terms: “He’s drop-dead gorgeous.” “She smells like candy.” “His kiss is sweet like honey.” “Her skin is so soft.” Your heart races, palms get sweaty, and a swarm of butterflies flutter in your stomach.

After initial physical attraction comes an emotional connection. Now you are in la-la land. You enjoy the breeze all around you. Romance is in the air. Can you smell the flowers?

This is when you may actually make it a point to look good, try different things, and go to new places. Life is an adventure, and you feel stronger than ever. Now passion and intimacy have taken over. You are not only extremely attracted to one another, but you feel a deep connection. You begin to open up, sharing your values, feelings and dreams with each other. You are floating. Life seems to be in order.

Your lover has become a big part of your life, and you stop wanting to see other people. You are head over heels, ready to pledge devoted love. The two of you enter a committed relationship.

Just because you see each other every day doesn’t mean you have to stop trying to make a good impression. Sadly, couples too often cease making much of an effort with each other. They stop taking time to talk and listen. They stop taking care of their physical appearances. They begin to take each other for granted. Intimacy dwindles and arguments constantly ignite. These are the consequences of familiarity and boredom taking the place of excitement.     

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