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You know the feeling.
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 It's post-breakup.
You're devastated. Whether you made the break, or worse still,
were broken up with, the fear slowly creeps in. What if I
never find someone new? What if he/she really was the one for
me? What if I'm… (gasp) unlovable!
Everyone experiences
insecurities in the wake of an expired affair. In fact, many
of them are directly related to the relationship that’s ended
(and the ones that came before). If he cheated, you think all
men cheat. If he was lazy, you think all men are lazy. If the
relationship was fiery but expired quickly, you think passion
can never last.
Well stop right there, Miss I'm
Destined to be Alone (or end up with the wrong man)! One of
the best ways to ensure you get the love you deserve is to let
go of your misconceptions and assumptions, even when they're
based on your experience. There are some generalizations that
can be made about love, but the universal truths are few, and
the options are many. Here’s just a little
example:
TRUTH: You are
loveable, flaws and all.
No matter what went wrong
last time, you are worthy of unconditional love. Even if
self-esteem isn’t your strong suit (something you've gotta
work on, trust me), I'm 100% sure you can find at least one
thing you like about yourself, whether it's your nose, your
wardrobe, or the way you smile at everyone you see in the
elevator. If you look hard, there are most certainly more
things that make you special. So whether you think you’re too
fat or too thin, too selfish, too meek or too demanding - it
doesn’t matter. We can all work on strengthening our positives
and reducing our negatives (and these are things we all need
to do). But love doesn't require perfection… think about it.
Nobody's perfect, right?
But all around you, every day,
people are finding love. SO CAN YOU.
MISCONCEPTION: You already know how men
are.
I don't care how many
boyfriends/husbands/lovers you've had, no one knows how "men"
are because there are way too many men to generalize! So if
you’re ex cheated, don’t just assume a new guy will too.
Now that's not saying don't use the information you've
gained through experience. There are always signs that
indicate certain behaviors and feelings - in men and in women!
But oftentimes, whether we know we're doing it or not, we make
assumptions that prevent us from finding the right kind of
mate. You have to believe that a good guy is out there – even
if you haven't got proof (yet). Manifestation is the key -
remember, you create your destiny - and that goes for
love
too!
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